Our mind is a powerful tool, and to use it, one has to control it. The mind has been a subject in most books, or how ideas are channeled and made into reality. Studies have shown it can create and recreate the ideal or even relieve the worst and self-made monsters.
According to Earl E. Bakken Center for Spirituality & Healing, University of Minnesota, the mind is not synonymous with the brain because it consists of mental states such as thoughts, emotions, beliefs, attitudes, and images; and the brain is the hardware that allows us to experience these mental states.
These mental states can be fully conscious or unconscious and include emotional reactions to situations without the awareness of why we are reacting. Like when coping with troubling thoughts, especially if there is a sudden change in our routine, emotionally affected or stressed out or about our unresolved past or even present, creating that anxiety and fear. Each mental state has a physiology associated with it—a positive or negative effect felt in the physical body. For example, the mental state of anxiety causes you to produce stress hormones. This phenomenon happens because our mind is the entry point of our body and is connected so that what we put in our mind is manifested in our actions, life, and even health.
NOT all negative thoughts are unhealthy
Healthy, thinking does NOT mean positive thinking! Bad things happen, like getting fired at work, a recent argument with a friend, or losing someone you love – feeling upset and having negative thoughts is normal and healthy for these situations but not for a long time, like a month or more every time.
There are times when negative thoughts are realistic and can be helpful to find different ways of looking at the situation, though.
When we dwell too much or too long on feelings or ways of thinking, we can easily fall into thinking traps that lead to more unrealistic and unrestrained negative overthinking. One of the most common thinking traps is labeling or saying only negative things about yourself or others. There are also the should and what if statements, or telling yourself how you should or must, or what if this or that happens. You can check the list online or check this site: https://www.anxietycanada.com/articles/thinking-traps/.
Sometimes our mind interprets a situation that can get distorted, and we only focus on the negative aspects—this is normal.
However, when we interpret situations negatively or too much, we might feel worse, and it will worsen. Our mind can take us anywhere and whenever, and we need to control it. It is like a horse. It can run wild when a rider cannot hold it.
Here are the four habits you can try to help rid of untrue thoughts and emotions that are often baseless.
Habit 1: Mindfulness – This is a trend lately, and almost everyone is eager to try this. This habit is the practice of purposely bringing our attention to the present moment. Based on the Buddhist and Hindu teachings on the journey towards enlightenment, where attention, awareness, and being in the present – are considered the first step.
It encompasses two key components: awareness and acceptance.
In a day, our minds drift and wander, and when we are mindful when our minds drift, it is easier to lead it to focus on the now or in the moment. Practicing this habit will make our minds recognize our purpose. Being mindful will make us see our life as a whole and just one life to live, the same person despite the many roles or tasks given. It is not like a person with a dissociative personality where multiple personalities emerge within the person.
This technique is also frequently used in meditation and certain kinds of therapy. The benefits include lowering stress levels, reducing harmful ruminating, and protecting against depression and anxiety.
Research suggests mindfulness can help people better cope with rejection and social isolation.
Let us practice this habit by being grateful, starting with words of appreciation for our day, for ourselves upon waking up, and reviewing what we have done after a day of work or duty before going to sleep. In our review, we can look into the pleasant and unpleasant things we did. We can be more creative and add a more concrete resolution for the unpleasant things and try to do something about it in the next coming days.
When we acknowledge the many things and people around us and recognize that things can happen differently from what we expect- our minds are more relaxed and focused. A relaxed mind is a peaceful mind with a calm body.
For people with religious beliefs, this can be a practice of the virtue of “Presence Of God – that when one is aware of the omnipresence of God, one will not dwell on emotions or thinking that is pointless, baseless, and would provide them that the only choice to make is to move forward, move on or progress on another phase.
Habit 2.Self Control. This virtue is known as temperance. It is called chastity or the control of our sexual appetite; modesty or discretion on our intimacy of self and others could be in clothes we wear or speech; and sobriety, which is the moderation in eating and drinking.
To have self-control is to moderate our impulses, drives, and pleasures. It is also one step to self-mastery. Think that everything we have in this world is an instrument and not for us to get with less we overdo it. When we lose control, we know from experience that we feel sorry for ourselves and regret it.
Temperance consists of submitting our pleasures to the control of reason, a task requiring effort. When we cannot control our passions, it can lead to vice (or to seek satisfaction as if it were an end and not a means).
Our bodies need to eat and drink to preserve our health, and when we eat incorrectly will cause discomfort. The same is true when we lack mastery of our pleasures; we develop extremities that are harder to prevent. This virtue is not to deprive ourselves of our gratification, however moderating it.
According to the Marshmallow Test by Walter Mischel in the 1970s, children who were willing to delay gratification and waited to receive the second marshmallow ended up having higher SAT scores, lower levels of substance abuse, lower likelihood of obesity, better responses to stress, better social skills as reported by their parents, and generally better scores in a range of other life measures.
This show that if a person wants to succeed at something, at some point, they will need to find the ability to be disciplined and take action instead of becoming distracted and doing what is easy. To be successful in any field requires you to ignore doing something easier (delaying gratification) In favor of doing something hard (doing the work and putting in your reps). We can train our ability to delay gratification, just like training our muscles in the gym.
Thus, when we do not do things in moderation or within our reason, then chaos happens. It is the same as how we think. When we lack this virtue, everything goes out of control.
Habit 3. Sacrifice.
When a person loves, it is not about the feeling of awe or the highs of it. True love is not about the sensations felt alone but is about sacrifice. To will the good of the beloved, a person who truly loves denies his happiness over the happiness of his beloved; what a paradox, but great relationships emerge from this and not on the mere idea that loves equates to everlasting.
Long-lasting marriages thrive because of this conscious choice to sacrifice to yield to give to what the beloved wants. When we have a conscious effort to make small sacrifices, our minds are much more centered, not daydreaming or lost on their own.
When we make sacrifices, we concentrate on our goals, productive and organized. An example could be when we are irritated with a person because of some qualities – instead of nurturing the feeling of irritation, try to find a good quality of the person and highlight it. Difficult, but that is where the sacrifice is-life is not easy, but we are coping.
This only means that discomfort would not hurt – so demand a little more of yourself that instead of being irritated, instead smile at the person and wish something good for the person or your improvement (like health, a great day, compassion, understanding). When you are conscious of unpleasant emotions, you also find ways to discover where and how it is happening, and before you know it- you are not as irritated and have developed some traits that make you a better person.
Habit 4: Pray
Prayer has a personal meaning for everyone with a religious background or spiritual practice. Prayer meant specific sacred words for some or informal talking or listening to God or a higher power for others. Prayer is rooted in the belief that there is a power greater than oneself and influences life. It is raising our hearts and minds to God or a higher power. Surveys indicate that nearly 90% of patients with serious illnesses pray to alleviate their suffering or disease. Prayer is the single most widely-practiced healing modality.
In a research conducted by Dr. Christina Puchalski, Director of the George Washington Institute for Spirituality and Health, prayer is the second most common method of pain management (after oral pain medication). It is the most common non-drug method of pain management.
The following explanations of how prayer helps improve health:
- The relaxation response – prayer elicits the relaxation response, which lowers blood pressure and other factors heightened by stress.
- Secondary control – prayer releases control to something greater than oneself, which can reduce the stress of needing to be in charge.
- The placebo response – prayer can enhance hopes and expectations, and that, in turn, can positively impact health.
- Healing presence – prayer can bring a sense of a spiritual or loving presence and alignment with God or an immersion into a universal unconsciousness.
- Positive feelings – prayer can elicit feelings of gratitude, compassion, forgiveness, and hope, all are associated with healing and wellness.
- Mind-body-spirit connection – when prayer uplifts or calms, it inhibits the release of cortisol and other hormones, thus reducing the negative impact of stress on the immune system and promoting healing.
One famous prayer is the poem Nada de Turbe by St Teresa of Avila.
Original Spanish Text
Nada te turbe,
nada te espante,
todo se pasa;
Dios no se muda.
La paciencia
todo lo alcanza;
Quien a Dios tiene,
nada le falta;
Solo Dios basta.
English Translation
Let nothing disturb you,
nothing surprise you,
all things pass;
God does not change.
Patience wins everything;
whoever holds onto God
lacks nothing;
God alone is enough.
St. Teresa suffered in her earthly life, but with her constant prayer, she was able to transcend from it. We have to do things that our future selves will be thankful for. So let us feed our minds wisely. A passage from the Bible in Philippians 4:8 summarizes this: “Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.”
Our mind will always believe everything we tell it, so it is up to us. For our mental wellness, we should fill it with truth, love, and all that is good, and when the mind is well, the body is well, and the manifestation of this wellness is doing it well, what is proper and what is good. Pope Francis also affirms this when he said: “Think well, feel well and do well.”
So I hope you can try these habits and be patient with yourself.
It will take time might as well start today!
Disclaimer: This article is not to heal mental illnesses but an option for mental wellness.
